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the best is yet to come…. December 31, 2008

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We always want to start our year with a BANG!

2008 was good…I had better experiences compared to my 2007…but as they say the best is yet to come.

Pain.Anger.Hatred.Betrayal— I want to spare my 2009 with such unhealthy vibes. I have suffered enough for 2008…I guess I am deserving to be happy just like anybody else. I have been good enough to others….it’s just that..my best wasn’t good enough. As my pain increases, my anger and hatred grows even more, and I didn’t like it and truly hated myself for entertaining such evil thoughts.

Friendster – it was really a big help, especially  seeing and communicating again with old faces and old friends. But for some personal reasons I have to give up my account. It’s not that I am closing my doors to those dearest people in my life, I guess there’s always life after friendster. I am concentrating now creating new profile for other sites, and It is always nice to try something new. I learned to like facebook, it is more intimate, since I only have few friends, and only those who have really touched my heart who are in my list. Good thing blog sites are now available, coz I get to share my insights in life, relationship, friendship and life in general.

Friends.and More Friends — one is silver and the other is gold. It is always best to keep both. And will continue to count more treasures. I lose some friends, but I gained more  and new friends I. love being with my friends, they just make my world really go round. Especially those times, I was on top, they cheered me up, even when I was down…they remained.

Success and more Success – I have been blessed because god has lead me to my new world, and have been my guide ,to be  of service to his special children. And they even add meaning to my happiness and existence. I finished my SPED with flying colors, I was just so inspired of doing things for them, I hope I have touched their lives as well.

Moving on, second chance, letting go, forgiveness – I am more forgiving now…for it is in forgiving I learned to move on , I pray harder now..even doubled, because with prayers…everything moves.I can forgive, that is why I offer  second chance. It is always best not to hold grudges. I learned to smile to my enemies, and yet leaving them the reason behind, why they afforded to hurt me.

Family comes first – they are second to none. The pillars of my strength. There is nothing in this world that is worth living for—they are really worth indeed a one in a million. A new baby is coming, hopefully it will be a baby boy, since my brother is longing for one…. another blessing, and another angel to guide us all.

Love is all the matters – why we always hurt the ones we love. I don’t know if I should make this as my themesong. But anyway, as long as I know how to love, I got all my life to give, and know how to live and I stay alive.. I will survive, sa gugmang giatay.

More faith, and endless faith – you just have to keep the faith no matter what! above anything  else, you just to pray and ask, because he always listens, and will never fail us, he may not answer it with a YES , but always with what is BEST!

I can say, I was still blessed. I will never be this firm and strong If I have not conquered all my struggles in 2008. It is a cliché, but then again, everything always happens for a reason, we may not be able to solve the puzzle right away, but in time, the answers will be provided. I was still blessed because spite of what had happened in my life, I am still alive, and now even more than willing to go on with my life. I stay humble for the life God has given me.

Life indeed, is sometimes not fair. But if you get to see the other side of the picture, you can say,  that indeed, the best is yet to come..just believe. Life isn’t fair..but it is still good…



best gifts…. December 25, 2008

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Christmas is truly in the air. I hurriedly pack my things on the night of 22nd day of December, because I am finally going home and will be spending my christmas holiday with my family. For just one day, I was able to shop and had find the best grab of  all  ,amidst the crisis ,still the excitement of buying presents cannot be avoided. Good thing passengers were not that many as I expected, god blessed me that much by making the weather so fine that I arrived safe.

Christmas time as they say, is best express by giving more than receiving. Aside from giving, more than anything else the virtues that I received is worth more than thousand of gifts.


Last week, considered to be the most tragic moment of my December affair. A thousands worth of money was stolen from me, the money was intended for the company’s Christmas party, I found out one Monday morning, and the party was set to be held on Thursday. At first, the initial reaction, I cried hard to death, for the first time , I didn’t expect such thing to happen. There were so many instances, that I managed to left some money on my drawer, never it happened. Why now? It’s only two days, and the party is all set. I don’t know where to get the money to cover the cost for the food and venue. I prayed so hard, if not to find the culprit, but find the best solutions for the party to be successful. My boss was so understanding enough to disregard the incident but focus first on the event. For straight three days, I couldn’t see myself smiling, talking to other people, I managed to hold myself and my concentration to get the party done. I could already feel the excitement of everybody, and yet here I am, still bothered and couldn’t help myself back to where I should be.

Our sister company, was scheduled to hold a mass one Tuesday morning and I was assigned to attend. I don’t know what was really the intention of my boss, why he wanted me to attend the mass. When I was there, a lay minister was holding a talk. Then I realized, good thing I was able to attend for he hit me not once but twice. He was talking about the preparation of the coming of our dear savior. He asked the employees, If we are prepared for the coming of the Christ savior. Then he said, just like a thief where we don’t expect them to come to our house and steal something from us. They come to us during unexpected days. We are not prepared when they would robbed us. Just like the coming of Christ the savior, we are busy buying our presents, making a list, and yet are we really preparing for his coming? It hit. I never expected it to happened. I was never prepared and I never imagine a thing could happen. Nobody told me that a money will be taken from me. Should I cry hard for that? Then the lay minister continued his talk. He said, amidst the crises the world is experiencing now, we should still be thankful because we are still employed and the company is holding on to their employees, even if it is only break even. Then he said, no matter how big the problems , no matter how big the cross we are carrying now, we don’t have the reasons not to go on with our life, we don’t have any reason not to celebrate Christmas with a happy heart…. Because just for one reason…GOD IS WITH US.. so why worry. I almost cried. Why? Because though I was praying hard to have my problems be solved before the party, yet I am still worried. Again I forgot that thing that there is nothing to be afraid, for God is with me. I was just busy praying for a solution, I forgot to think that God was indeed helping me solving the problem by making me realized that in time, a solution will be given. When I returned to the office, Cathy was happy to see me smiling, finally. And I am all set to have the party started. As they say the show must go on.


I was there for her when she was totally down, when her life turned upside down, when her love story was starting. I even wrote a blog for her. I wanted to be there for her every step of the way. From her struggles and success, I am became a friend in the truest sense of the word. When she almost lost the man she loved, she cried a bucket of tears , I was there to listen. She couldn’t afford to lose this guy, who made her happier , and had moved her feet back to where she belongs. I told her, God wouldn’t allow this to happen anymore, to hurt you even more. God is never like that. When you think that you were so over burden with problems ,and  God wasn’t listening to you… it was never like that. I told her, God must have like you doing your thing, because God sees in you the heart that never surrenders, a mind that never underestimated her senses, and a soul that never gives up. She hurt the guy’s feelings, yet I told her, to just keep him the space he wanted, good thing, she admits her mistake, and with humility she asked for an apology. When God is making the plan, he is really indeed gonna make it happen. A week after the struggle of their relationship, she found out she was pregnant. What a JOY god has given her. The best gift a woman could have. Thou not all people were happy about it, but as I always told her, don’t let the devil steal your joy. It is time to be merry , what a joy in your heart to received such a special blessing this Christmas time. I will continue to love her…even more.


When the party was over, I am back again with my senses, that I need to find the solution for the money that was lost. Unexpectedly, one person has offered a help, if ever the company would obliged me to replace the money that was lost. I said to myself, I just live it up to God, everything. Then come Friday, I shared my problem with my sister, and right there and then she told me about one person who is willing to help. I was never introduced to the person. It was my sister who brought the issue. If indeed, a help will be materialized, a good Samaritan is still around the corner. God never fails to listen. Kindness is just around the corner. Not here, not there…it is just everywhere.

When my good friend Jeanalyn, asked me last night what is the best gift I received this Christmas. I honestly told her, nothing, I mean materially none. And I said to her, it is still in giving that I best celebrate Christmas. And then she is set to give me her presents, by january…its the thought that counts, better late than never..right Jen?Because for me, these things that I wrote here, are the most unexpected gifts, and yet the best gifts that I received this Christmas. Nothing can ever surpass the Faith, the Joy, the Kindness that I received, not for myself but for others as well. When you give, something is given to you….a hundred folds of faith, joy and kindness.


what christmas really means to me… December 9, 2008

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Is christmas just really for children? What christmas really mean to us? Does it always means giving , forgiving, gifts and more gifts, hope, get together, sumptous food, christmas tree and santas?  A child would always look forward for christmas because it’s the time when he can get bigger presents from his mom and dad. For an adult, they also look forward to it, since it’s a time of giving and loving by friends and special people in their lives. For aged people, thou some tend to forget the meaning of christmas, but in their hearts I know everyday is christmas time, because they long to have their families get together because that is all that matters to them.

When I was young, these are the things that made my Christmas sooo memorable and special : Christmas caroling in the neighborhood, that includes singing the Christmas carols using our own version of the lyrics and tunes. Putting up the Christmas tree, and literally we used trunks of  jackfruit tree, because we cannot afford to buy the very glamorous Christmas tree that you see now in stores, but still it is very delightful to see, since my father put some different Christmas lights on it, that according to him it is still a Christmas tree. Who could have missed the Manito –Manita with friends and families. Receiving gift is I guess the most awaited part of celebrating Christmas, right? Hearing the media noche mass, is also memorable for me, thou I always end up sleeping on my mother’s lap (lol) , excited to attend the mass because I get to wear my new clothes. Tell me who doesn’t? And the best among the rest??? It’s SANTA CLAUS. Almost all of us during our childhood days, never fails to put our Christmas socks, waiting for santa to fill it up with chocolates and candies. Only to find out…it’s our dearest parents who acted as santa’s, and never misses to put those stuffs for us …just for us to be happy and merry.

My grandmother has been staying with us for  four years . Whenever I go home for christmas break, I see to it I have something for her. Thou she is partially blind , but I could really feel the happines whenever she received something from me. It’s  the thought that matters, right?. She knows it is clothes, but she doesn’t even care what color or if it fits her.  She gladly receives it with a smile. Everything .. is priceless for them. Because they are now barely remembered.

I was 22 years old when I stood as a godparent to a cousin’s son. I don’t know much of the significance when you’ve become one. All I know is that I am oblige to give him  presents during Christmas and Birthdays. Time passes, and I could not barely count how many of them already. Fortunately I’ve been blessed , they’re one of the few reasons why I suffered mild headache when Christmas time comes. (lol). But it is really a good feeling when you give. It is a worthwhile thing to do.

I cannot remember exactly when was the last time my mom stops giving us presents during Christmas. When I was in college, my mom would always say..I don’t have a Christmas gift for you anymore, since I already paid so much for your tuition fee. If it happened during elementary and high school, I would really cry a bucket of tears for that…but now, it’s a different level of understanding, thou to some it doesn’t have a significance , but for me, I didn’t mind at all, since it is true. When December comes, what they supposed to receive is all being paid to their debts of sending their children to school. But still , my mom never ceased to give us presents during Christmas. When I started working, I told them, it’s about time for me to give. Thou it doesn’t cost that much, but I know It is something that will make them proud of having me as their daughter.

When we make a wish list , the top most would usually go for material things, I mean with the latest gadgets, dreaming of having one, is not a sin after all. But we should also consider it’s not the material things that matters during Christmas. We should also consider the true meaning of celebrating it. Christmas maybe defined by kids as Christmas tree and carols then let them be, because what is true to their eyes is what being planted in their hearts. Christmas may mean to me, giving, sharing, forgiving, peace on earth, but what really matters is what Christmas really mean in your hearts. When you say giving, do you really give without expecting? When you share, do you really mean share everything what you have and not only what you want? When you say forgiving, do you really mean , yeah, it’s over let’s start all over again?

Christmas comes once in a year , but it doesn’t mean we only have to be forgiving during Christmas time. It doesn’t mean we only have to give during Christmas . It doesn’t mean peace on earth can only be best felt during Christmas season . Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. Christmas can be meaningful to us in so many ways, we just have to understand the real meaning of what Christmas really mean to us. Christmas is forever, not for just one day, for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do for yourself. Take time to help other people, especially those who are really in need.

Let everyday be Christmas ( Norman Brooks).

unbelievably lucky in love… November 26, 2008

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I have a very dear friend, who consider herself as believably unlucky in love. Because all her life, she keeps on searching , if not, been waiting for the right guy. Is she among the many who were born to wait and search? When does the heart says the search is finally over.

I remember during our college days, she was often left out whenever I go out on dates with my boyfriend, since I cannot tagged her along. She was just there for the advices and shoulder to cry on whenever problem arises. Good thing about her, she never made any attempt to influence me or whatsoever that having a relationship is bad, or made an influence that I need to get out from the relationship, since she always caught me in trouble with my relationship. Even up to now, she just listens and never bothers to influence my decisions. That is why she is so dear to me, because she let me be with my relationship… past and present.

Now, my relationship with her is so intense, that even our minds can talk and laugh at the same time. Our soul is so connected that even a single word, can bother us. One of the best topic we love to talk about..is of course…BOYS..or the supposedly men in our lives. How funny this men can be, on why we keep on searching them, over the net, over celebrations, over an aquiantance ..only to find out at the end of the day, there’s no magic after all. And we just laughed it out…and say..next in line please.. Being single , is the best thing for her. She can do a lot of things, being an independent woman, she strive to cope with everything..because for her she doesn’t have the energy to accept offer from anybody. Not until she meet Steve..

When she stopped searching…the guy came along. Strange..and too good to be true…. How do you know when you look at someone, that it is magic that tells you to stare. In every situation, risks is always there, it is just a matter of taking it.. The guy took the risk, and made his chance so worthwhile. How would you know, that the guy you have been waiting and looking for is just there in the coffee shop , in a flower shop, or in the streets. They meet accidentally… but I told her there are no accidents. Because when it happened…it was bound to happen. The feeling  the world is at your feet..is what simply my dear friend experienced when she meet Steve.

Everything just fall into its place. She never wishes to happen that soon. She wasn’t prepared for everything, because for her, love is the least priority and the least to prosper in her life. Since she consider herself, believably unlucky in love.

And it took them so long to find each other. Only to find out, it was just one ordinary day when they meet and nothing spectacular, but their meeting was a BANG! IT’S MAGIC!.

All her life, she prayed for a guy to love her the way her father has loved her. She asked for a guy who would never nor even dare to break her heart. She dreamed of guy who would give her everything and will treat her like a princess. She fantasized of guy who is someone who could be her protector and hero. She longed to be with a man who can make her laugh and see the positive world even with uncertainties. She needs a man who can appreciate the world at its best, someone whom she can create a beautiful world. All these she taught will just forever in her list. She never imagined meeting a guy who seems to be the everything she ever wanted. When Steve told her that he found the good world in her, for me, it’s not finding the good world, but rather, the world was created for them to build a wonderful life together.

All his life, I believed has been through a  tremendous journey of searching for a perfect world. Steve believed in angel..because he wished for a woman…who will keep him strong…he dreamed of a woman who will shelter him from the world’s uncertainties….he longed to be with the woman who will protect him from harm amidst the unpredictability of everything. He never imagined…when he asked for a woman …an angel was very glad to fulfill his prayers….an angel brought Jeanalyn to his life….I bet Steve has been diligently good these past years…because his prayers were granted..(lol) And now they are on their way of building their dreamland…. They have now each other to create a wonderful world… I believed they were both given the chance to differ ..between what they want and what they believe has been planned for them.

There is so much life for both of them, since they are just starting. But I truly believe that indeed what they have right now, can still prosper. They just have to keep the faith , and believe the reasons for everything.

Is the search finally over?? I am more than willing to wait and see… But I am the happiest creature now for my dear friend. She deserves all the love in the world, like anybody else.

Official Tabulation of Heartaches (Part II) on LDR November 25, 2008

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If I were to give definite words for a long distance relationship: It would be Challenging and Difficult.Just figure it out why I said so.

1. Long distance relationships is challenging . It’s all in the mind. You want more challenges? Then stay.

2. Long distance relationships is difficult. It is, if only one is pulling the string.

3. Long distance relationships can be fun because you’re away from each other in a period of time. The duration is crucial, but so is your attitude. Take a deep breath, and have fun with something else. (I didn’t say find somebody else. )

4. Long distance relationships needs patience. It is a virtue. If you don’t have it ,better  get out, because it is worst than you think.

5. Long distance relationships is like a rough patch. You can battled it, if you can. Because for others, it becomes a way of life.

6. Long distance relationships can also hurt you..it’s only… you get hurt at times.

7. Long distance relationships can make the heart grown fonder. But the questions is, how long can you survive it.

8. Long distance relationships can also develop your socialization. Because of the distance  you encourage yourself to meet other people. But you end up cheating your partner (ouch). SO be careful whom you meet and comforts with.

9. Long distance relationships can eat you alive. Because you missed each other, yearning to be together, trying to cath up each other’s lives, what hurts the most, you don’t even know when you would be able to be with each other..not now..but how soon..

10. In Long Distance relationships you will need to keep the faith that you have each other. Because If you don’t, then faith will bring you somewhere else worst…even to somebody else’ s arms.

11. In Long Distance relationships never let things happens without good cause. Because the relationship will surely doomed apart.

12. In Long Distance relationships, has also the possible and the impossible just like any relationship. There is only one thing to make it work— the will to make it work.

13. Long Distance relationships and marriages works on the same principle—-you need to master the art of adjustment..–real well.

14. In Long Distance relationships learn to lose yourself in the journey and you will enjoy every moment of it–Bitter or Sweet!

15. In Long Distance relationships you can also find your worth—  If it is worth for someone—worth the distance—and fear, commitment..a potential heartbreak…or even a potential real love…is worth all of the above and worse..

Relationship Doesn’t Always Make you Happy November 25, 2008

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I come to read an article about 8 Bad Break Up Reasons … and among the eight the last caught my attention: THE RELATIONSHIP DOESN’T ALWAYS MAKE YOU HAPPY… it may be true to some..and it may be inconsistent for others. In my own viewpoint, I shall say… it does somehow made me happy and at some point had made me restless..well not once but many times…

To quote from the article : Love may be a many splendored thing, but a relationship doesn’t exist JUST to make you happy. It’s not the answer to everything, nor is it an escape from all ills or an elixir to bring a perma-smile to your face. A partner can obviously be a great support in your life, but you’re still responsible for yourself, for accomplishing your individual goals and for keeping yourself entertained.

One of our main purpose in life is to be happy or at least make someone  happy. When we enter into a relationship we always consider the reason because she/ he made me happy, that is why I said YES! And it is always one striving point why you want the relationship to work because she/he made me the happiest person alive. But how about the thought  that  the person you love the most has the capacity to make you the happiest person in the world… and may give you the worst heartache you can ever imagine. If it does exist to make us happy then why we cannot have it for the rest of our lives. Why you doesn’t end up with the  person whom you taught had made you the happiest person in the world?

It’s not the answer to everything– yes it may not be. Sometimes we get into a relationship just because you feel she/he is the right person to spend the rest of your life with. There are even times that we get into a relationship just because you feel so unloved, and you want to try the luck of indeed finding the right partner only to end up…it was not meant to be. There are so many ways of finding the reasons why you get into a relationship. Some find him/her as the answer for being lonely, for being frustrated from the previous experiences. But then again, it’s not the answer to everything. Life indeed is not merely seeking answers but also finding meaning to those answers.

A partner can obviously be a great support in your life, but you’re still responsible for yourself— When we doesn’t have a partner, we say,  love hasn’t  come may way.. or worst…I think mine got hit by a truck…We all want to be in a relationship…. It’s always a good feeling sharing your love with other people, building dreams together, creating one world together, and it’s one hell feeling that I missed . Well, who doesn’t anyway. We all want a shoulder to cry on. Thou  we can get it through our family and friends, but it’s a different thing when it is being shared it with your partner…  . We all want to have a successful relationship, and we also dream  of ending up with  a great partner. But I guess, it is true, that we have to keep something for ourselves, and we have to be responsible for our actions. In love, you can give everything just to make your partner happy, but then again, think also of the other being that is inside you..and that is yourself.

it’s raining..and it’s killing me November 6, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life, nature, relationship.
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Rain ..rain go away..come again another day….Raindrops keep falling in my head…..rain gently falls whenever we say good night…. pumapatak na naman ang ulan sa bubong ng bahay…and so many songs about rain.

Yes it’s raining now and it’s killing me. How cathy and I wanted to go home and just stay in bed, cuddle ourselves with soft pillows. Why we feel so much about life when it’s raining. Why we feel so nostalgic when it’s raining…How i love the scene from the movie The Notebook, when they meet again and kissed in the rain…gouch…how my heart melts. When it’s raining…  It’s when I dreamed  a lot…eat a lot…I fantasize a lot..everything with lots….So before it’s too late, i browse some quotes about rain…and glad I’ve found these few drops of quotes on rain…raindrops..rainbows… cause I love rain..actually….

“ The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”

“In our lives there is bound to come some pain, surely as there are storms and falling rain; just believe that the one who holds the storms will bring the sun.”

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”

“ Rainbows apologize for angry skies”

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.”

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.”

“There’s always a period of curious fear between the first sweet-smelling breeze and the time when the rain comes cracking down.”

“It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain. “

“Rain showers my spirit and waters my soul.”

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. “

“ Into each life some rain must fall, and when it floods, I deal with the waters the best I know how—I dance with life.” ( it’s my good friend jorel favorite shoutout)

“An angel in disguise he was, but somehow you fell for him. Until he broke your heart that day, and left you in the rain, but still I love you.”

“Like the rain I have fallen for you and I know just why you liked the rain. Always calling for you I’m falling for you now, just like the rain.”

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”

“Sometimes I see myself as a child in a rain storm, running around trying to catch all the drops in his mouth. I long for your adventures to be like the raindrops the child saves and not those which crash to the ground.”

“If love is shelter, I’m going to walk in the rain.” (how I love this..)

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

“I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain, I’ve seen sunny days I thought would never end, I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought I’d see you again”

“It takes both rain and sunshine to make a Rainbow.” ( I agree…)

“If you think it’s going to rain, it will.” (so better don’t..)

“Rain is grace; rain is the sky condescending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life.”

“You pray for rain, you gotta deal with the mud too. That’s a part of it.”

“One can find so many pains when the rain is falling.” (ouch..)

“The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.” (save..save…save..)

a few good lines.. October 29, 2008

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In my student life I have watched lots of movies as part of a course requirement, from drama to psychological thrillers. To name a few, Nell, Primal Fear, Rainman, Silence of the Lambs and among others. When I took  up Sped and DPE, the trend of film showing still continuous , from drama, comedy, true to life even love stories. The Other Sister, August Rush, My life as an Idiot, I am Sam, Mercury Rising, Coach Carter, Emperors Club, Freedom Writers, Dangerous Minds, Small Voices, Helen Keller, etc. If not only for the Reaction Papers I wouldn’t waste my time watching these movies. But honestly, they may be fiction or true stories, they opened my eyes to the reality that somehow their stories might be really true and it is indeed happening. I certainly like all of them, but I consider Emperors Club if not my best, my inspiration to become an effective teacher. I never thought a movie like Emperors Club could be so rich with movie lines, not until our teacher told us to take note of the famous lines and expand. Lines that teachers should value, and , I shall say they are very meaningful ones , I’m going to share some of their famous lines: ( Emperors Club is a story about an Idealistic teacher who wants to inspire as well as educate his students. Dedicated being a good teacher, He strongly believes in molding his students by using principles. However, his methods are put to test when one of his new student shakes his controlled world and threatens to undermine all that he stands for. His challenge was to change this young man while maintaining his integrity)


– The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. Some people always want to find out. Some are content with their lives as they are. The trick is to find the correct balance. Do you ever think about the choices you made and how your life might have been if you find or someone else had chosen otherwise? Who would you be today if, at one or another crossroads, you had taken the “other “ path? What I’m saying is listen to your heart. If you really want to take the road most traveled, then by all means do so. But don’t be afraid of taking the other one just because most people don’t. Thank God we are not all alike, so there are many different paths to happiness. What works for me likely will be a bit different for others. I know there are many things in my own life that make me wonder If I should have taken a different path. Then I stop and think what If I had. I know I would be a different person than I am now, and the bottom line is I like me. I like who I am and what I feel, and if it is because of where I have been then so be it.. and It does makes sense.


– We are not forever young, thus youth ages, we may have done great things during our younger years but it will soon be forgotten, as we grow up, we struggle in outgrowing our maturity, thus as we get older we become wiser. There are things in life that we do not know how to do it, times that we don’t know what is right from wrong, but this should never gives us the reason not to correct our mistakes, not because we were not educated, but we keep on failing because we prefer not to fight our ignorance, we never asks questions, but we prefer not look for answers, as they say he who asks questions is a fool for five minutes and he who does not is a fool forever, same with stupidity I guess, if we prefer to ignore things and never mind them, we will stay stupid forever.


– We may have failed once and succeeded many times, still the worth of life cannot be determined by any counts of failure and success, because being successful is not counting how many times we failed, but how we take courage in facing life’s struggles. Thus, the value of our life is not measure by one failure or success. It’s not because we are unsuccessful at one point in our life, life becomes pointless and hopeless. And a sole success doesn’t make life perfect either, because life is a series of failures and success, a combination of both that we have to go through..Life is a process of becoming.


– In everything that we do, we are aware of what is not good and what is not, not unless you’re a fool and doesn’t want to know. In any aspect of our lives, we came across the struggle between right and wrong, if you choose to do the wrong thing, it’s not totally ignorance, because you know it’s not the right thing to do and yet you chose to do it.


– As they say opportunity knocks only once in our life. Once it knocks , grab it and fulfill it. Not all things is free, some you get it by merely a stroke of luck, and some even by chance. Once it is there, better grab it, and live it to the fullest, because it will only come once, chances are it will never come back again.


– How will history remember you? We may have great ambition in life and have conquered the greatest battle in your life, but how people will remember of the things that you did in the past? Was there a significance with those great ambitions? Where you being honest? Was there a virtue and principles when you conquered those ambitions? People may not remember how fast you have conquered your ambitions or work, but they will remember how well you did it. And that is the most important thing, living your life with significance.


– Children grow through experience if they meet life courageously. That no matter how often they fell, as long as they have the proper guidance and learning, they will have the courage to stand up and try again. This is how character is built. And character is what determines a man’s destiny. What he is now influences what he will become tomorrow. A teacher is just there to guide.


You Reap What You Sow…. October 27, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life, Something for special angels.
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I encountered so many changes and struggles when I took up the course (Diploma In Special Education). It was never easy taking the journey, yet this is the most rewarding journey I’ve ever been to .My used to be free weekends was all of a sudden occupied by school classes and activities. I barely went home and be with my family during special occasions, since I have to attend to my weekend classes. My boyfriend and I used to argue a lot when it comes to time, since I could no longer spend time talking nor even chatting to him during weekends, since I am at school. I have missed a lot of out of town trips and girl bonding moments with my close friends, since I have to prioritize my studies (char). I spend less time doing what is best for my work. I tried my best to manage my time the best way I could. There are times that I almost gave up on one over the other, but with perseverance and determination I made it..and thank God I still have them ..intact and still dear to my heart…my family, my friends…my Big John and my work and  now I’m moving on to my dreams.

LESSONS LEARNED : Never ever give up. Learn to compromise.

And all I thought when the classes were done, the pressures were over. But I was wrong, it was far from over, time has been so demanding when I started my on the job training at Lapu Lapu City. The most busiest weekend I ever had in my entire life. I have to wake up early to get away with the traffic in traveling from Cebu City to Lapu lapu City. And spend my whole day at the center teaching the special children…and the most rewarding of it all, at the end of the class it’s a priceless experience when your students were able to read, were able to color and finished the activity you introduced, were able to perfectly sing the song you wanted them to sing, were able to say goodbye and say your name, Goodbye Teacher Manits. . It’s a worthwhile experience and a great feeling that gives me so many reasons to come back and it was something I look forward to during weekends. For three months of being with these kids, it thought me a lot about life. It is never too late to care and to share. Please do so when you can. These kids needs our outmost attention and understanding. There are times that you wanted to ask yourself, why in the world I’m with them. But then again, if you love what you’re doing, you would never mind at all finding the answers.

LESSONS LEARNED : 1. Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. 2. If we find we cannot help others, the least that we can do is to desist from harming them. 3. Don’t say you care when you don’t understand them.

After months of struggling with school projects , examinations , activities…. I have finally reap my reward.

My last graduation rites was like 10 years ago…. (Still it was the most memorable one, because the whole family was with me to celebrate my success) Thou this time, It’s only  my sister who attended, I am still happy because a member of the family  was able to attend the occasion. I would even be more happy If my mom was able to attend..(but for some health reasons she has to stay at home). After a while of not seeing my classmates , I miss the happy faces.  as I look back all those struggles that we shared during classes, the cheating arrangements, the funny yet memorable moments we shared during practicum…it’s a sigh of relief, that this special day has finally come for us to celebrate.

All I thought It was just going to be a usual graduation rites for me, of course,  thou I can say it is a special day for me, because after being away from school,  again I am sowing what I reap . One of my mentors at school encouraged me to apply for With Honors ( she is one of the few who never ceases to be believe in me) , but when I found out there were so many students who applied for the said with honors and the school would only get the top 10 students of the DSPED, I just said to myself, I’d rather not expect too much , since there were over a hundred students who applied for graduation, they say chances are. When my name was called for students With Honors, I could not exactly explain the feeling, since I stopped entertaining the thought already , on the day when I found out that they will only get the top 10 students. Of course, I know my capabilities as a student, and I know there were also other deserving students, but I guess , I was also deserving  just like anybody else. My sister was also shocked, because I never mentioned it to her. I have worked hard to pass all the subjects, but I never thought I will reap this much. There were 140 DSPED graduates and the thought of being one of the  Top10 students is already an achievement. All I thought passing the subjects with good grades was good enough…not until my name was called.

LESSONS LEARNED, it is always best not to expect…. from anything, because If it is meant to be, it will be. Stay humble. Never forget to say thank you to those people who never fails to believe in you and prayed for you. Never ever forget to pray.

I know my journey has just started….I will be forever thankful for those people who never fails to believe in my dreams…my mom, my sister, my close friends….and I know my Big John is now starting to believe it as well and I thank him for that. And for those people who failed to see my capabilities…well…all I can say…until we meet again…but I should be thankful for them as well, because It will keep my spirit high in  achieving my dreams…and that is to become an effective (if not  the best ) teacher for these special angels.

Always believe in your dreams . It’s never too late to fulfill your dreams. And I really, deeply believe that dreams do come true. Often, they might not come when you want them. They come in their own time.

the new wonders dominated by Bayan ni Juan.. October 23, 2008

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I went to New7wonders site for updates , it’s good to know that three of the top destinations in the Philippines has been in the top 5 list of the New Seven Wonders of the World, and I’m glad I cast my votes for these spots, I love my own as they say. But among the three, Chocolate Hills (who ranked number 4, as of October 20, 2008) made a soft spot in my heart.

I remember I received a text message from a friend months ago, when she informed me that Chocolate Hills has been nominated for the new seven wonders of the world. And she made a campaign to go to the site www.new7wonders.com to cast my vote. How could I ever refused such request, when she was responsible for my first visit of the famous chocolate hills. And not only that, this spot is also very memorable to me, because my boyfriend and I visited the spot a few years ago, and the first tourist spot we ever visited.

The first time visit was with my friends. I could still remember the excitement of going there, to finally see the most beautiful creation God ever created for the country Philippines, specifically in the town of Carmen , Bohol. I’ve been hearing so many good description about the said hills. I have also read the different legends about the chocolate hills. Some say it is called chocolate hills because during summer the hills turn to chocolate brown and many others…well…the real stories behind it’s creation, all I can say, Philippines has been very blessed to be given such wonderful nature. Nothing beats the first time experience as they say.

The second time, was with my boyfriend. He has been reading a lot about the chocolate hills, and was amazed by the pictures that I sent. He wants to visit the said place when he goes back to the Philippines. And I offered myself to be his tourist guide. You don’t have to be a native of Bohol to be able to guide your guest to the said famous hills. Just be proud of what the place has, and right there, they are just as amazed as any other first timers. And one thing, it is a perfect place to visit for lovers , It is such a sweet gesture holding hands with the one you love as you both watched these beautiful creation.

I am very proud to have visited the said place. I am even more proud to promote the said spot because you already know the experience of being there. I will always treasure my memories of the now famous Chocolate Hills. Hopefully the spot will get the chance to be in the new seven wonders of the world. LOG ON TO http://www.new7wonders.com . Let’s continue to vote for Chocolate Hills. And good to know as of October 20, 2008, still from the Philippines , The Subterranean River National Park of Puerto Princesa, Palawan ranked Number 1, and Tubbataha Reef, in Sulu Sea ranked Number 5. My friends and I our planning to visit these two spots soon. Our country is still blessed with these wonders of creation in spite of everything, I mean politically, economically, still very glad that we Filipinos has something to look forward to. We may be forever a third country for others, but when it comes to natural resources, we are indeed WONDERS!

A doze of life, relationship..and more October 23, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life, relationship.
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I am going to share some of my favorite quotes from my favorite celebrities. These  were not only chosen because  they’re popular or something, but my world has been inspired by  reading these quotes over and over again, and has in some way influence my way of thinking, my beliefs and my aspirations in  relationship and life in general

1. Life isn’t a Disney movie, love isn’t perfect.

2. I know If I keep my distance, you’ll see what your missing.

3. The man for me is the cherry on the pie. But I’m the pie and my pie is good all by itself. Even if I don’t have a cherry.

4. Falling in love — you should go with it, regardless, of whether or not your heart gets smashed. You’ll be a better person.

5. I’m a true believer in karma. You get what you give, whether it’s bad or good.

6. I’ve made mistakes, and I know why I made them, but I made that choice.  Nobody’s ever made a choice for me.

7. No matter what your choices are, you truly have no control about what people think of you.

8. If it’s true that men are such beasts, this must account for the fact that most women are animal lovers

9. Everybody deserves a second chance in this world.

10. Beauty comes from a life well lived. If you’ve lived well, your smile lines are in the right places, and your frown lines aren’t too bad, what more do you need?

11. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

12.I assume that if people get to know me, they’ll like me. If they don’t, it’s not my problem.

13. Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window– or break down a door.

14.If I have someone who believes in me, I can move mountains.

15.True love doesn’t come to you it has to be inside you.

16.You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.

17. It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone – so far.

18. God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity.

19. When you do bad things, bad things happen to you.

20. There’s a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.

21. I always say don’t make plans, make options

22. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I think it’s important to seek out that reason – that’s how we learn.

23. I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.

24. If you’re going to go through hell… I suggest you come back learning something.

25. When things are perfect, that’s when yoy need to worry most.

26. Everybody has a heart. Except some people.

27. The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people.

28. A lot of people are not meant to be together.

29. You don’t have to be an angel, just be someone who can give

30.  Nothing ends nicely…that’s why it ends.

The day when they finally got married…. October 21, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life, relationship.

When he broke the news to me that he is getting married….i scribbled my pen and draft my blog for him, entitled YES HE IS GETTING MARRIED. I received a lot of views…in a day like 40 to 70 views..I wonder who got intrested with his story…his friends..officemates..perhaps… but whoever they are….there must be one and hundred reasons why they viewed the said blog. I made a promise to him that yes I will be attending his very special day, not a merely obligation because he is a dear friend…but because it is another celebration of life and for a very special friend..I wouldnt miss it for the world…

As a gift.. I made a video presentation for the couple entitled THE PROMISES AND BEYOND. It is a collection of promises, words that touched their hearts…I just wanted to create something new for them, something that even the people who will watched the video will learned lessons from it.

The special event has come. I was kinda excited to meet my other college friends…but above all I am more excited to see the groom waiting for his bride. He is more relaxed and composed. It was also my third time to attend a wedding in a non catholic ceremony. I find the ceremony so solemn…really…it was the first time I attended a wedding where the bride got carried away with their wedding vows, and even I watching the couple made me teary eyed. You can really feel the sincerity of saying the vows, and it’s not like the usual vows, that you just have to say it..because the minister asked you to say and it is part of the ceremony. That was the only ceremony that I managed to listen to a wedding vows. I have attended so many weddings already and I don’t really pay attention to such wedding vows because for me , it’s not something new..because you read them everywhere…in poems, in books.

Aside from my dear friend.. I was also thrilled to see the bride, and it really came out she outshine everybody else. She was so beautiful on her wedding dress..and she was indeed the star of the celebration. At the reception I was tasked to proposed a toast. All I know it is usually done by anybody but male. But anyway whoever fits to say it…. I know I was chosen because it fits the purpose. I was grateful that I have spend my college life with Rouel and I am thrilled today to add a new member  Aien to our circle of friends. May their love for each other shines as their wedding rings. The usual speeches for a toast. The final traditional touches of the wedding is the throwing of the bride’s bouquet. Fortunately,  I happened to hold the bouquet when the music stopped. A mix feelings? Maybe yes..maybe not… Some say you will be the next bride… if that is true… I could have been married so many times already.

The celebration was a success… and as their friend…I could only wish for them the love, trust and respect for each other,  for the success of their marriage lies in their own hands. Wedding vows is not there to be just part of the ceremony…but it is a promise to fulfill..it is a vow to hold on…The day has finally come for you to love each other,  live with each other and believe each other, because you are now one.

A father’s LOVE October 14, 2008

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A female child is associated as the Papa’s Girl, and male child as the Mama’s Boy. On my part, I was never the Papa’s Girl, as far as I am honestly concerned. Why I said so?… When I was young ..well even when I was growing up, I cannot remember any special bonding moment I shared with my father. I cannot exactly remember as well the reasons why? But one thing I find it more acceptable, I was more attached to my mom. I always run to her, for everything…because for me she is more approachable, more loving, more caring and all the more..and my father was not… I am only speaking for myself because my other sister and older brothers are closed to him… Am I just too attached with my mom or I just didn’t mind him at all because I had my mom who was always at my side?

My father has a very strong personality. Very firm… a No is always a No…(one thing I am so afraid of him) . He makes the crucial decision in the family…and I just cannot take that (because he doesn’t ask how I feel). He barely smiles…so reserved ( and he hates us when he finds us at our neighbor’s house ) He wants us to learned the household chores, because for him were no king’s children. He wants us to be at home by 6pm ( and I always find ways to get out of the house even after 6pm ..hehehhe) These some of the reasons that made me feel so away from him… thou he is just there…yet so distant….I cannot even reach out…. I was just too young to understand him and for me It was not my obligation to understand him. And all I could see was the goodness of my mom, and I put my father’s image as the unloving one.

When I begun to understand life’s experiences including that of my father….everything changed. It made me realize that he doesn’t owe me an explanation and  indeed I was just so busy minding my own struggles.

It’s only now that I appreciate my moms favorite tag line : “Go ask permission from your papa, he is a good man, he will say yes” but I didn’t believe that, because I have already created an impression that he always say NO. What if tried? Just that…. I never did.

It’s now that I have come to understand, why he is less affectionate compared to my mom. He barely kisses us during our birthdays or celebrations. It is because when he was young, the said gestures was never a thing in their family, since they are all busy with life and making both ends meet. Now I understand why in the world…but this one fact has truly changed….because I was wrong …..he has a heart for all of us ..he was just too afraid to show it…

Now, I can see and feel his affection. For us…most especially to his grandchildren. My heart melts whenever he spends time with them, kissing, cuddling, playing saying I LOVE YOU, he treats them, shop toys for them, give present whenever they got good grades. I never imagined him doing such thing because that’s not how I used to know him. All I thought I could never laugh with him, talk with him over some serious conversations… and it’s a good feeling because, I always dreamed for this moment.

Now, I do kiss him, hug him whenever I got the chance. And he just smile back and say Thank You, and it is more than enough for me and I know , he knows how I feel for him. Now, I can say freely what I say and he listens. All the while, he was always been the ideal father ( to all of us) and I just refuse to accept that, because I didn’t see him that way, and I never gave him the chance. My mom said, He was there all along..loving me since the day I was born. He was always been the father who guided us, a mentor, a family stone, the glue that holds our family together…. He had the strength to endure long days even though his body was tired, he had showed honesty through each day and showed to us that life is worth living… and though he feels pain or hurt at times he may never never tell…

A father’s love is a warm embrace.. a quick hug… what EVER it Takes…though he is not getting any younger. I know…with his age he still feel great joy, for the love of his family it keeps growing…

Yes, HE is getting married…. October 10, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in friendship sake, Life, relationship.
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If given the chance to spend another four years in college, with the same old faces…I would still want him to be part of it, because college life would never be the same without him over and over again. Even if we were worlds apart… I would definitely want his presence…. During Freshmen days we were so apart …soooo opposite, like I am X and he  was J . We were so against with each other..about a lot of things….i love to planned out things….he is spontaneous, he hates planning out, he hates late comers,  because he valued time so much and I don’t ….he talks a lot and I talk a lot even more… I spend a lot….he was a wise spender..because for one reason, he supported himself to school…(yes he was a non academic scholar), so money for him is so valued…..he loves to argue over non sensible matters and I find it so unreasonable ….I love my lovelife…and he don’t..because he hates seeing me crying over not so worthy guy/s…I laugh a lot and he was so reserved…perhaps …serious..He was not even nice and sometimes can be really mean…so insensitive…while  I was a friend of everybody…..his world evolves around to only a few…( Anna, Jeanalyn)…he doesn’t welcome intruders….that was way back then, spite of our differences …. I can always count on him….he hates me for being so noisy  and yet he was always at my side…. we were so opposite  and yet we manage to keep the friendship…for eternity..one of the sweetest friendship I ever had…

We parted ways after graduation, we were busy minding our own world..and building our careers.. I have known his struggles and triumphs in a strange place  … just to fight a life and career  that is worth for him…. I was even grateful to know that he was able to surpassed all of those…and it was not really a shocked to me , because I know his capabilities as a person….I know he can do it…and he did it….

Ten years after, so many turning events in our lives..yet the friendship remains……This one really shocked me the most…..but  I was happy  when I learned that he is now a  father to UNO ( son’s name)…It was a surprised thou..because really,  he was not a family man type and he hates girls…, we’ve been away for so long  and I don’t know exactly how he feels about women anymore and as mush as I want to ask..but why???…..but who am I to judge him and they say people can change….but I am happy for him.

I was glad to know during our reunion ,that we now share the same dreams and aspirations in life…I think we’re even looking at the same direction. We now talk over sensible matters, thou sometimes we still argue ..but we do listen both sides…we are now more open.. time and experiences has really taught us to be more mature and face life in a different level…

And when I say different level, in the sense, a new perspective in life..new challenges perhaps… yes, he is  getting married….to his dream girl I may say….And as you walk down the aisle, …never forget your sweetest smile….which Aien truly deserves….

When I look back those days when we were so young and restless….I never thought you have become a different person than I ever imagined…but you’re still the same determined person I have known..and now  even takes life more seriously… And I take a bow, for such a very responsible act… you deserve to be happy my friend…. I am truly happy of what you have achieved…..and you deserve a wonderful FAMILY…..This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do.. and Take the power to make your life HAPPY. You’re one of the reason why my life is so colorful. You have been my shoulder to cry on…(and I hope you will still be…. )but never my night in shining armour…and you know why…hehehhe….I will be here for you..whatever happens…because with you..nothing really ends….because what we share is a friendship for a lifetime….

I know with Uno and Aien you have taken a different meaning in life ..I know you can build a wonderful world for them..if not perfect …even great…I am now the happiest person…because for a dear friend like you..I could not ask for more…..CHEERS!

survey says… October 10, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in friendship sake, Life, relationship.
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Questions in life, relationship, friendship, formulated out of boredom…and feel free to answer them as well….


  1. Crinkles or Muffins – Muffins…especially if chocolate
  2. Mara or Jorel – Jorel, thou always late but with sense…
  3. Mara or Andy – of course Mara, I don’t who Andy is..
  4. Larsian or Ginabot – Ginabot lang..
  5. Julies Bakeshop or Arbees bakeshop – Of course, Arbees!
  6. Manicure or Pedicure – Pedicure, people will look you down then up…
  7. Intercom or Direct Line – Intercom, unlimited.
  8. Text or Call – Call, it makes sense.
  9. Smile or Laugh – Laugh and the whole world will smile at you..
  10. Alcohol or Sanitizer – Sanitizer, it’s smooth for your skin…


  1. Heaven or Somewhere – I am lost definitely I’ll be somewhere…
  2. Ocean or River – River..cause water runs deep
  3. Pencil or Crayons- Crayons..to color my world
  4. Flipflops or Shoes – Shoes, because it’s for all season.
  5. Movies or Music – Music, one thing I cannot live without it
  6. Pictures or Videos- Videos, it is more authentic.
  7. Cellphone or Camera- Camera, I am more excited in taking pictures than texting.
  8. Pizza or Fries – Fries… it’s lighter for me
  9. Pink or Blue – Blue, for me it’s…blooming
  10. Coffee or Tea – Tea, it tastes heavenly .


  1. Love or Trust – trust, because when broken, it doesn’t make a noise but hurt a lot.
  2. Stay friends or Nevermind – nevermind, because I’ve got lots of friends already, he doesn’t have to be one.
  3. Overnight or Daytour – Overnight, more intimate.
  4. Fun or Adventure – Adventure, and make it fun
  5. Hold Hands or Kiss on the forehead – Hold Hands, it says never want to let go.
  6. Cuddle or Kiss – Cuddle, because most of the time you kissed each other…
  7. Love at First Sight or Getting to Know you more – GTKYM, still go for traditional
  8. First love or Last Love – Last love, Just want to be the last.
  9. Forgive or Forget – Forgive, to have a peace of mind, forgetting will follow.
  10. Physically Present or Long Distance – Long distance, and compromise

a journey to their “own world” October 8, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life, Something for special angels.
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Some people asked me what comes to my mind why my world suddenly evolved around with special children. And why I choose to take my journey to their so called “own world.” All my life, I have been dealing with different kinds of people….name it….all of them became my friends… some even became my enemies… and I may say our world is composed of complex personalities. Along my journey, behind those complex personalities ,I never imagined there are people in these world who are not part of the complex world and yet, we want them to be labeled as such.

I came to realize, that indeed, in our own special way..we can help these people by letting them feel that indeed they doesn’t have to suffer of the so called complicated world..just because they are considered to be special. For months of being with them, I certainly conclude …don’t say that you care when you don’t understand them.

Downs, MR, Autistic, Physically handicapped, name it, they have what it takes to be called emotionally gifted as well. These people are equally gifted with emotions like any other humans. They may have disabilities, they may be considered special, but just like anyone else they have feelings, experience love, anger, fear and happiness.

That is why never underestimate their feelings and emotions, because they too feel what we feel. They may experience difficulty  in understanding and reading our minds, but mind you they know when you’re sincere or not. Even the simplest gestures you make, certainly has meaning. They can read when you don’t liked them or loved them. They will welcome you to their own world…if you open your hearts to them…it is one feeling i cannot exactly describe, because it is truly beyond words….language beyond understanding…

All I thought, I just want to find the reasons behind why I have to be with them.  All I thought It was just for  curiosity  sake , how these children communicate and lived  with the complicated world…whatever it is…they find meaning to my reasons and curiosity.

These children has taught me  what life was all about, they taught me  to be honest (if you want to say something, better mean it ), they taught me to be sincere, ( and if you make a promise, better fulfill them),  they taught me to be patient, (because taking care of them needs a lot of patience) They taught me to be funny, ( so don’t take life too seriously)  and even taught me to laugh at my own mistakes. And still counting….

Life with them can sometimes be so unmanageable, but then again,  so they say the feeling is mutual. Who knows they even find us unmanageable too…

When my right brain is working….. October 4, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in Life.
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*i get to see and feel things as they are…Whenever I feel like accepting sorry from one person….. no questions asks… he/ she is forgiven…

* I don’t want to realize that I am dreaming again, and worst….. visualizing things which they are not…

* I trust my intuition more than anything else..and  I was right all along….

* when someone is upset with me, I tend to listen on how they’re saying it… but I want to listen to what they’re saying…

*  I tend to have my best ideas when I am sitting up…and I want to lie down when I’m thinking(ikaw kuno cge ug dongkil beh..)…

*  when im going somewhere I tend to go with my instincts when finding the way….but I want to map out where I am going…(gobils…)

* When I have lots of things to do… I do the hard things first…

* I tend to seek out new ideas…

* When I talk i choose the words carefully…but sometimes use my hands a lot…

* I think in words….(Sometimes with pictures too)

* I appreciate gestures …..

* I believe in action ….

* I live for today….

* When it comes to risks…I seek out new risks..

As one author stated: There is no right or wrong here; it’s merely two different ways of thinking. One is not better than the other, just as being right-handed is not ‘superior’ to being left-handed. What’s important is to be aware that there are different ways of thinking, knowing what your natural preference is, and if it’s strongly verbal (left brain) rather than visual (right brain) being open to trying new approaches which deliberately approach painting or drawing in a right-brain way.

Life on the run…life on the streets… October 2, 2008

Posted by mvbpsyche in family, Life, Something for special angels.
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As one of the requirements for my SPED course, I came to know Cebu Drop-In Center, it serves and caters to the needs of children being dropped, children from all walks of life are welcome, some came from streets, homeless, or just being anywhere ..these children finds comfort in the streets and yet taking the risks and face danger every minute of their lives.

Are these kids runaways– or something else?

Some basic truths about the runaway issue needs to be understood. First, the run away label is misapplied to many adolescents who have left home ; many are actually throwaways ; others are homeless for othe reasons. Second, although apparently more than half of all runaways are girls, most of those living on the streets are boys. Third, for many, running away is not a one shot deal. They flee and flee again, perhaps many times. Finally, not all runaways are the same. Being taken in by a friend or relative for a night or two is very different from having to stay with strangers or cope on the street for weeks or months.

Adolescent runaways, juvenile delinquents, abandoned, abused, homeless kids, are just few of the cases being handled in the center. Once dropped in the center, they always find ways to run again. The risks runaways face are endless. Since these kids are now accustomed to a life which they think and feel their comfort zone, they always want to go back to a life where they are always free and restless. The center has given their best, in providing the needs for these children, programs, livelihood, enrichment activities, education, some are even given a chance to have a new family. And yet, these children couldn’t speel the word HOME in the center.

Why they run?

Those in the field say kids always run for a reason: “Something has gone wrong.” Kids are unlikely o leave a good home, ” unless they have some sort of emotional or psychological issues that preclude them from being attached to that family.” One author calls running ” a cry for help”, a sign of unaddressed problems at home.

Some kids run because of severe forms of everyday family conflict– difficulties with a stepparent, sexual orientation, sexual activity, or pregnancy. In blended families, for example, where women bear new children and need to concentrate on them, tensions abound. Some teenagers, given an ultimatum to toe the line, feel they are being told to leave— and do.

The usual suspects in family trouble–poverty, child maltreatment, substance abuse, and domestic violence also figure in kids fleeing.

These youth who are in the center ” are merely symptoms… of the problem.” Young people always become the scapegoat of the issue. Very rarely is it..about them.. It’s about the dynamics of the whole family”

One professor, believes the term runaway obscures the dynamics of the problem. “When a wife is being beaten by her husband, ” we say, Why doesn’t she leave? But when a child is being beaten and leaves, we say, “He’s a runaway.” Although the child’s response is rational, the professor adds, he or she may wind up detained by the police and classified as a delinquent.

Helping runaways…

These is where the Drop in Center gets in. It offers short term shelter, food , clothing, and medical assistance as well as counseling to reunify families when possible and appropriate. If it is not, staff try to place a young person elsewhere or prepare him/ her to live independently.

It’s good to know that there are non government organizations who willingly open doors for these children, they may have committed crimes brought about by innocence, they maybe abandoned by their unwanted mothers or families, after all they are still members of the society and they are all deserving for a second chance, from me…from you…from all of us…

I’m taking the road most traveled….because my mom told me so… September 25, 2008

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When I was young,  I would always look forward to school holidays   because  my mom would tagged me along to their school, it’s one moment I like most about of my younger days, because that was one moment I get to bond with her since she was very busy with school work, yes she was one workaholic teacher. She spend most of her time at school. But she sees to it that she  spend time  teaching us our lessons, going to school meetings, taking care of our needs, everything that a mother could provide was given to us….I am very happy  that indeed my mother never failed us…. she was perfectly serving her role as a mother to us and a wife to her husband.

Teachers in the Philippines is not  that well compensated (well even up to now)  I must say , because of that my mother was once tempted to go abroad to sustain the family’s needs and be able to send us to the best school. My mom thought about it so many times but  she ended up losing that dream, to work in a greener pasture world,  instead she stayed… and happily retired  as one of the best teacher /administrator the district ever had. When she was asked why she didn’t pursue the application, others find her reasons so simple and yet difficult to understand.  She just cannot leave her four children just like that. We were on our growing up years back then, and she cannot afford seeing her children being taken care of other people. As a a very doting mother, she wants to be with her children every step of the way. Though the family’s resources was not enough to sustain our needs, and yet both of my parents works so hard to provide us with everything, making both ends meet.  I could not even imagine how life would have been if she went abroad to work. These are just few of the things that I never bothered to seek the answers because I had my mom all throughout. What is right from wrong? What is the world out there for me?  Who will open my eyes to life’s uncertainties ? Who would fight for me? Where in the world I can find  best advices a daughter could ever want ? Who would lead my way and teach me the best values to  cope with my individuality? I would never be this strong and competent if she was not at my side. She helped me grow. . She is still the truest friend we have; when trials are  heavy and sudden, when trouble thickens around us, still she clings to us. She is even proud to see how successful we are in our chosen fields…She has greatly contributed of  who I am now.

Now as I look back, I can say I was very fortunate that our mother was with us  all throughout our  triumphs, she was there when we needed her the most. We were very lucky because she never left us , just because of the thought that she can give us a better life by working abroad, yet she never hesitated to change her path , because there was only one best life she could ever give……and that  is to spend her life with us…there was no need for her to go away just to  give us the so called beautiful life…because for us..having her in our lives..is already a beautiful , wonderful life….

Now, many children are suffering from the so called ” NO MOM AT MY SIDE..HAS TO WORK ABROAD..TO GIVE ME THE BEST OF EVERYTHING”.. So what is best and everything you can offer for your children? I know, the situation now is very different from my younger days. The world now is more expensive, the best things in life are free is no longer felt; we need to struggle everyday in order to survive. Often we hear tragic stories about families that are broken because of infidelity while working abroad ; stories about teenage drug addiction, suicidal  ,pregnancies  and nobody cares, since both parents are working abroad … even their family values suffered because nobody would dare to teach them anymore…these kids would prefer to alienate themselves from what is right,  for simple reason they are so emotionally unstable brought about by life’s uncertainties.  What these kids need is a family… a mother, a father that could put their arms around each other and being there for them… Should I consider myself lucky because I both had my parents at my side? Or I am just lucky because I was brought up the way my parents would wants us to be…

I had my parents with me all throughout, I  had my mom during those troubled

times, I had my mom when I begin to realize that life indeed is a very complicated world; but still, my life is different from others; our family’s struggle is also different from yours. We all have our own reasons and directions

to chose how to get there… we all have our own strategies how to cope life’s uncertainties ; we all have our own

values to uphold …. and we all have our own dreams to realize ….I am glad I had my family intact all throughout. No matter what your aspirations for your children are and whatever life may take them, it is very important to let them feel that he/she has a family to run to, a mother most especially.

Life generally is difficult, and as one author had said, it is one of the greatest truths. And my mom has given me the best lesson in life…. she  encouraged me  to take the road most travelled , if I want to learn about life;  and no matter how life has been treating me , even sometimes it leads me to the road of nowhere ; yet she assures me, at the end of the road she will be there…. waiting for me… because she knows I am now making my own road, making my own path….for she  knows I am now at my best to face life’s uncertainties…..

Now, better ask your mom, will you guide me to the road most traveled?  or  would you want me to take (not) the road less traveled instead???

Men checklist..a must have ? or what??? September 24, 2008

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When it comes to men , pretty much all women have a must have checklist of qualities they want in an ideal mate. But while it’s good to know what you want, but it is also important to keep an open mind. Because if we hold too tightly to that preconceived ideal, we might just be missing out on a terrific person who ‘s right in front of us…

Before, like it is really telling you how to look for the right guy, he is someone you can be completely honest; he can compromise, he is someone who will fight for your honor ; he is someone who can make you laugh ; he is someone who can bring down the rainbows whenever you feel like crying ; he is someone who will go down on your knees and give you the moon even the brightest stars ; everything you ever dreamed of a perfect  mate should be him; you don’t want to change him; and of course no one looks better— these are what I call checklist— stick to my list or threw it away???

But now, I only listen to my heart, because I know it will open up my heart to true happiness. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, I know he is still out there!! Maybe he just got lost…and is too stubborn to ask for directions..I don’t even care what planet he will come from…Mars?? Maybe…I guess…

she is my mirror and my opposite…. September 23, 2008

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The movie In Her Shoes, reminds me always of my big sister, well she is not really that big and tough type, I’m more of like the big sister, as what other people would define our sisterhood. Ever since I can remember, I was never good enough to be her younger sister. I bullied her most ..well almost all the time.She was so weak to resist my presence.

Comes a time that I  struggled to be on my own, comparison was another issue..on who is who, funny thing , we were dressed alike, even to bags down to shoes, I cannot understand why our mother wants us to look the same, where in fact, were not even twins. We were so opposite and one doesn’t want to understand the other. I cannot defined then the so called healthy competition. I treated her as the greatest threats in everything, attention, love, name it. All I thought that I can have the best of both worlds by being the younger one.  One good thing about her was that, she never fails in helping me realized, that indeed i am just her younger sister. I was never  proud of hurting her, intimidating her, I was just so busy minding my own struggle to the point of hurting her so many times, countless shall I say. What matters now , I was sorry for everything. I would do everything to keep her safe as long as I am alive.

Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship. And it is really true. Now I love being with her … for simple reasons, that she is indeed my big sister and proud to have her in my life…. our roots say we’re sisters, our hearts say we’re friends:

* I love talking about our  younger days, because It made me realize how selfishness ruined my  best days with her.

* Now, I can talk and share with her my dreams, our dreams.. every moments shared with her is so worthwhile.

* Now, we laugh together, cry together….. knowing you have someone whom you can share your sentiments in life….

* We can talk about anything…men…getting married…and men….

* She is someone in the family, whom I can share some of  the good news, much more the sad news…

* I can kid the world…but not her…she knows when I’m feeling bad , and always there to listen , with just few words …MAO BA…

* She is one person I know I can count on, I know she will never leave me…and never will abandon me…

* She is my mirror, shining back at me with a world of possibilities.

* She is my witness, who sees me at my worst and best, and loves me anyway.

* She is my partner in crime, my midnight companion, someone who knows me when I am smiling, even in the dark.

* She is my teacher, my defense attorney, my personal press agent, even my shrink.

* Some days, she’s the reason why I wish I was the only child (hehehhe) …but our relationship has come a long way …and I loved her anyway, for she is one person whom I cannot live without (second to my mom)…

I know we are different. But you were there for me…have lived with me  all through  my triumphs. Though I have friends….but you were there to hold my hands in silence and shine with happiness…. Oh how I love you..because you are my BIG SISTER….

The Smashed Spiced Goodbye chickpeas September 22, 2008

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Long distance relationship can be painful..trust me. Plus..people can change. On the first year, you never  missed a day without calling, not minding the cost just for the not so non sense conversations, because you  want to be there for each other spite of the distance. You want to fight the feeling of being away for each other. There are times that you missed him/her when something good happens to you,because he/she is the one you wanna share it with first. You missed him/her when something bad happens, because he/she make everything better. But now…You’re  not sure if he/she is thinking about you..anymore…Until  finally you figure out, something is happening. Would you just wait and see what will happen next? Why don’t you make the first move and settle everything so you can finally both move on….Don’t suffer yourself too much…

Let’s get real! Thinking about someone is fun…but not half as much as fun as kissing a real partner, right?And thank God, on my part, I remained faithful.Period.

Never lost the communication. Stay in touch via regular phone calls, emails. If you can’t handle the ” don’t ask…don’t tell policy…..well that’s the price you have to pay of being so damn faithful.. If it’s meant to be..it’ll work out.. Just don’t stall your life in anticipation…

Drifted September 19, 2008

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When my morning comes; I still face the new sun;

And embrace all that is pure gone;

It has already begun,

Far away from you; too far to be true;

For It will serve as a warning ; never a new beginning;

And now I light away; to see ME again– it can’t be

All that is within you and me; All that is green turns into greay;

Something must brought us back to fight;

It’s not faith, but it’s called LIFE;

When my morning comes; I can’t undo what was done,

And savour a bittersweet memories,

Far away from you ; a life to go through;

For happiness is not a  journey ;

No regrets..come what may

Pleasure in pain…. September 19, 2008

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Sitting in the corner of this green earth;

Hanging on those last few breath

To go-living beyond the universe;

And to stay forever to a world of fears.

“Forgive me”, I cannot ask

To the only part of a painful task;

“At least I could be your angel,

Not in heaven, but in hell”

Somehow, it was never ironic,

I have no choice but to break a neck;

Like the old saying ” No pain, No gain”

I do have a pleasre in pain

I don’t have to say the last word;

To lose anbother life, I cannot afford;

And giving life is ” regret”

I can do nothing, “it is my fate”

And what can I do to pay the price??

Maybe, I will give up myself as a …..sacrifice

life in pain….and surviving it.. September 19, 2008

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I cannot remember how she passed a day without problems. Way back in college, she goes to school heavily burden with family problems, friend’s problems, anybody’s problem….and she loves minding other people problems too…imagine how crazy her life was… but she wouldn’t let the day pass without solving each of those…that’s how powerful she was…. We were together for four years, and I couldn’t remember her day free from problems and struggles. Her whole life was surrounded with  problems as she can remember, from the slightest centavo for the school’s tuition fee down to the unwanted pregnancy of a friend. She carries her world with a great smile….because for a simple reason she knows how to face life glitches….

She kept her faith throughout the fight – such a religious person, she prays a lot, she meditate a lot…

She draws strength from within-  she knows when to ask for help ..but above anything else…she trust herself above anybody else…..

She value other people’s opinion – she will seek your opinion , and it matters to her most when you share your thoughts…

She stays humble – she was never proud whether winning or losing the fight….

She loves her family – for her she would die for them…because with them she find meaning in life….she find life worth fighting for….

She adores her father – whom she define as her greatest strength… he taught him the ABC of life’s struggles…

She  is one true friend – she says what is on her mind….she is happy when you are happy , she is sad when you are sad….she will laugh with you even cry with you…she listens…

She shares a lot – spite her struggles, she was truly blessed, and she never failed to share it with others…

She remained funny and lovable – you will never hate her when she has problems…because despite of it all she managed to stay funny and just laugh it out…

She is forgiving – she knows how and when to forgive, thou how many times her heart was crushed by different people, she even include them in her prayers…

She treated life as a one shot tequila away….live the day as it is…because for her…we only live once..might as well fight and enjoy life ….

She was open to changes…and I think her capacity to change has given her the tremendous happiness, because she always strive to be happy despite of life’s uncertainties…

After ten years, we got reunited..and happy to know she is now happily settling in Canada, yes still single and still has lots of problems.. And definitely even stronger this time…

She is one great inspiration, she survived because she was tougher than anybody else…..

Healing one side of the equation..heals the other September 19, 2008

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When people make mistakes , we often asked for forgiveness. How does it feel when somebody turns it down. And why do people turned it down? Were you sincere ? Were you brave enough to admit it?  Some would let the time pass, as they say time heals the wound. Some would prefer right there and then will ask for forgiveness. So when should the healing start?

Time heals the wounds — I am more of this. I just let the time heals my wounds. I have a friend, a very dear friend, we grow up together, we played together, we shared dreams together…..we were like best friends, special friend,best buds name it… it was only one opportunity that broke our friendship..both of us were hurt, both of us were crushed…. we failed to save the friendship…I failed to fight the friendship..because I wasn’t prepared for the forgiveness….and I wasn’t ready for the healing…It’s been years now, we do see each other..because we are neighbors, yes we are in one great community. Yes I know you will say, that I had all the opportunity to bring back the friendship….yes i do missed her…a lot…i miss the friendship..we could have visited a lot of place already… we could have shared our new dreams and new aspirations in life….i know it’s never too late for the apologies….In my heart, she is forgiven…. Well that’s  the price of waiting for the time to heal…sometimes.. we really have to assess..if taking time to heal the wounds is what we want or just merely because of the pride that we cannot just simply forgive the person….

In relationship, I do also have my share of healing…. I always keep the fate that I trust you …to believe you… I’ve been hurt so many times…well who doesn’t anyway….Before… I always connect saving to forgiving. Because I want to save the relationship , no matter how crushed I’ve become, I always forgive. For so many times that I was hurt by the same person all over again…I become so numb…that I can’t even remember why I’m hurt….and end up loving him still….ouch!!!

My brother used to tell my mother, that we should learned to forgive other people, because that’s when we are healed from anger…from hatred..from jealousy…from pride….from all the heartaches…healing the other side of the equation…heals the other…

When you can’t remember why you’re hurt…that’s when you are healed…

Knock the “t” off the “can’t (Part 1) September 18, 2008

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Why do we say I cannot…I can’t…I just cannot….In short…we cannot just simply knock the “t” off the “can’t”. These are some things that we think we cannot but simply we can if we will only try:

1. I just CAN’T FORGIVE HIM/HER- why is that? well of course you were hurt, you feel betrayed, you feel being cheated, you feel disgraced of what he/she did; and it is not easy to simply pick up the pieces again and start all over . What to do? – yes you can forgive him/her, start forgiving yourself for having him/her in your life.

2. I just CAN’T FORGET HIM/HER – why is that again? forgiving starts with forgetting. So start forgiving him/her now. Yes you can.

3. I just CAN’T STAND SEEING HIM/HER HAPPY with somebody- again? Your world doesn’t revolved around them. You have your own life to live, and just simply think, they’re just two losers whose path crossed when you dumped him/her.

4. I CAN’T TAKE HIM/HER OUT OF MY MIND – hey…i thought were done with forgetting… taking him/her out your mind is just nothing but a mere imagination. Close your eyes…for a minute…and you will see nothing…open it again…is he/she still there? i hope not…if he/she is still there???..better close your eyes forever….

5. Why I CAN’T SAY NO TO HIM/HER – why is that so? Because you always want to say YES. Simple and disgusting.

Official tabulation of heartaches….(Part 1) September 18, 2008

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1. When you expect a lot of things from the relationship you end up losing yourself….better don’t..what comes around…goes around…

2. When you want to save the relationship but your partner isn’t feeling the same way, get out and save yourself….

3. If you feel like he/she is cheating you along, then he/she probably is… never look back…because you will only end up embracing him/her again….

4. Never  borrow someone else’s man….because I won’t borrow yours either…if you do ..please ask permission….

5. Lying may break you…but honesty should never break you… learned to accept things, because in the end it will set you free…

6. Never treat yourself as the priority…find out first if you’re just an option…

7. Help yourself to admit mistakes…because in relationship there’s a lot of wrong….and it’s just a matter of fighting the right…

8. The only person you can control in a relationship is you..so never bother to control others….

9. If he/she keep on changing mind about the relationship…don’t settle ..they can’t even figure out whom they want to be with in the first place…

10. If he/she doesn’t call..the he/she isn’t just interested…but if you are willing to wait..go ahead…it’s your choice anyway to get lost….

11. Know when to cut the cord… if you’re still confused and can’t figure it out….look in the mirror..ask yourself…is this really want I want???

12.  Maintain boundaries on how your partner is treating you….if you want to say something..speak up..don’t wait for your tongue to get numb….or else you will end up hating yourself for not saying anything…

13. You can never change your partner’s behavior….start the change within you…..and by the way…don’t wait for him/her to change…because they will end up pleasing you in the wrong way…

14. Avoid double standards…if he/she can do this and that…then let him/her be…don’t let him/her place rules on you that he/she not willing to follow himself/herself…flee

15. Know whom you’re competing with….know when to set you’re boundaries….make sure you’re the most  competitive partner he/she will ever have….